I considered our trip to Malaysia last October as a moment to reflect. When I booked it with Cris, I didn’t know yet that I was pregnant. When I found out that I was, however, we immediately dismissed it.  See, it coincided with my expected delivery date.

But then, I had the miscarriage. After thinking it through, we decided to push through with the trip. It could be a good breather for both of us.

In one of the evenings, I found myself on top of the Menara KL, the tallest telecommunications tower in Southeast Asia. It gave me a great bird’s eye view of the city. From where I was, I could also see the Petronas Twin Towers, which is Malaysia’s signature tourist gem.

Enjoying the city lights made me reflect on where I was at that moment — emotionally. They said that approaching your EDD after a miscarriage is an emotional battle.

It was.

Talking to family and friends could only do so much. There will come a time when you yourself would think that they’ve had enough of your stories. It’s the war-against-yourself that’s harder to win.

You and only you could fully help yourself to recover.

With this in mind, I found myself buying a cheap postcard in one of the souvenir shops and writing… to myself.

KL Tower

Petronas Tower

Some may think that it’s pathetic to write to yourself. Don’t you have friends who can write to you? 

But it proved to be therapeutic.

Especially, when I finally received the postcard a month after.

I would like to tell my past sad self that my present self is doing well. She is getting on her feet again and excited to fully recover. She is happy that the Presently Sad Dada is a thing of the past.