A Lesson on Honks

On our way to the dentist, a motorcycle from another lane suddenly made a sharp u-turn in a restricted area, cutting us off.

The husband did his favorite extended “honk“, his way of saying, “Dude! Not cool!”.

Not surprisingly, the motorcycle made an equally extended, if not longer, “honk“. It was probably his way of saying, “What now, arrogant person?”.

Curiously, I asked: “Does it work? Would he know he’s wrong?”

He answered, “At least you did something. Maybe he’ll think about it later and realize it.”

These are just a few things where our line of thinking differs. For me, someone who deliberately disregards rules would not shed a single minute of his day thinking about the wrong thing that he did. Chances are, he would celebrate how he evaded the traffic, with total disregard of the other drivers on the road. Worse, he’s probably laughing at the rule-abiding-goody-two-shoes who he thinks are just not “street smart” enough. So what’s the use?

But my husband thinks not the same. Where I am the “choose your battles” type of person, he’s the “fight the good fight” kind, you know? Sometimes, I notice that it’s slowly rubbing on me. It’s annoying but quite comforting, I would say.

 

Wakeup Call

Today marks the third day of me waking up early in the morning without the help of my alarm. The past two days, I just spent my extra waking hours just lounging on the bed and trying to get more sleep.

Today, I decided to just get up and hit the gym. It’s been a while since I exercised. And we all know that when you hit a rut on exercising, it’s really hard to bounce back.

While on the treadmill, I listened to a podcast channel that I used to listen to every single day. I remember it was one of the things that kept me motivated while I was training for my half-marathon, at work, and life in general.

And it made me realize one thing: I did not just hit an exercise rut. I hit a life rut.

Sure, things are busy at work, I haven’t had a crying spell for no particular reason in months, I’ve been going out with friends… But something’s amiss…

I don’t feel motivated. I’m doing things just because I have to do them, not because I want to do them.  I don’t have my happy hormones because I haven’t been working out.

The universe is not yet done. The podcast that I listened to today talked about The Time is Now, which hit me quite hard:

When are you going to change?

When are you going to stop making excuses?

When are you going to stop acting like it’s somebody else’s fault?

When will you finally start doing what it is that you want to do? Or stop doing the things that you don’t want to do anymore?

Benjamin Franklin said, “Most people die at 25, but they’re not buried until they’re 75.” In most ways, it’s true. We say adulting is really hard so we just let the life motions control us, instead of us taking charge.

Why don’t I reverse it? If I’m not going to do anything today, I’ll never gonna do it.

So I did. And I don’t plan to stop.

Again.

The Gender Divide

It started with a post on the group chat regarding a petition. In a not so popular high school in a city I consider as my second home, a group of boys decided to disseminate compromising pictures of their ex-girlfriends. The victims’ side are claiming not to let them officially graduate. This has been going on for 2 or 3 years now thus, the petition. All of the involved are minors.

I don’t have the full picture and background so I feel it’s not my place to specifically discuss them here. I will, however, wanted to ask this: Who’s to blame?

Everyone agreed that it was wrong of them to publicize the pictures. But I was mildly surprised that the take on those girls who sent the pictures to their boyfriends in the first place were polarizing. Points like “how can these girls be so naive?”, “If there are no pictures, there will be nothing to send out for the whole world to see”, “why are we making such a big deal about this?”, and the clincher of it all: “If it’s the other way around , if this happened to the boys instead, will we still react the same and show the same fervent support?”

Which got me thinking: In this day and age, does everything still boils down to gender?

It’s baffling. When we have sexual issues such as this at hand, why do we always feel the need to present a counter-argument that divides us into two: Boys vs Girls.

Is it too difficult to just focus on what the actual issue is and just say that A is right and B is wrong? Why do we feel that by putting a gender label to it, the issue automatically feels complex?

Towards the end, we all agreed that:

(1) it was wrong to publicize the pictures and the boys should not earn the rights to officially graduate from the high school,

(2) while sharing compromising pictures to your partner is bordering on naivete, it’s normal and it’s your decision but you should be ready for any possible repurcussions,

(3) both victims and transgressors should be spared of public humiliation since they are all minors and they still deserve a future.

But the clincher is still a clincher.