Vibing

Single check

Double check

Highlighted in purple

It used to be that way

In a matter of minutes

I get the questions

In a matter of seconds

You get the answers

Single check

Double checks

Highlighted in purple

It used to be that way

We are available

We make ourselves so

We make time

And time was on our side

Single check

Single check

Single check still

Now this is the way

I am last seen

At the time I wasn’t hiding

Blocked, hidden

Nobody I was treated

Single check

Single check

Single check still

Now this is the way

Nothing but dust

Nothing but speck

Nothing but nothing

It is what it is

The Sun, The Star, and a Half Moon

In my evening walk from a few months past, I looked up at the night sky and saw a beautiful full moon. A few meters below it was a solitary star, twinkling as if in rhythm with the chilly, evening air. I hugged myself a little tighter, drawing my jacket to whatever closer my growing belly would allow.

In the pitch black night sky, these two celestial bodies offered a solace. But we all know that there’s another celestial body in play — the Sun. The one that gives the moon its light. The one that validates the Moon’s existence.

I continued my walk with these thoughts. Will the moon continue to exist in our conciousness if the Sun doesn’t share its light? Will the moon be ever enough without a star? Will the moon be ever a moon without its Sun, another star, I know, but far more closer, bigger, and brighter than any other star our naked eye could see.

I slept through the night with these thoughts, with these questions without answers.

A few months after, I am out in my early morning walk. Too early that I was able to see the sun rise from the clouds and the cityscapes. The air is not as chilly; I don’t need to put a jacket on. My belly more rounded now.

As the Sun continues to rise in the East, I saw the moon from the other side. In contrast to that chilly evening walk from a few months past, this was a half moon, not aglow with the Sun’s light, not accompanied by any other star. The moon was solitary but perfectly visible on the morning sky with its white, chalky appearance. I can see the craters and all other imperfectness on its surface but it’s still a marvel to look at.

I continued my walk with these thoughts — the questions from a few months past, I think I know the answers.

Can I Talk To You About Tonight?

Can I talk to you about tonight?

How the air felt chillier when I was walking towards nowhere… Alone. How the night seemed darker even though the moon is aglow. It felt like I was being compressed and depressed and pulled into different directions, I was afraid I might explode if I don’t implode first.

Can I talk to you about tonight?

How I went through the pain by pretending to be strong. How I finally felt the true magnitude of everything that happened. They all fell on me in a single blow, crushed my heart and gnawed on my soul. Have you felt the same? Do you feel the same?

Can I talk to you about tonight?

About the things that I wanted to say but just couldn’t. About the things that I should do but just wouldn’t.

About how I sometimes resent you because you’ll be okay no matter what…

Because you’ll be loved no matter what…

Because you’ll never feel alone even if I go…