The Romanticism of A Love That Was Lost

I would like to start this article by throwing caution at the wind and saying that of all topics of conversation, it is about LOVE that trumps everything else.

And when we talk about love, it’s almost always either of these three: the First, the Great, and The One That Got Away.

The First is always a reminder of our fresh brush at love. Everything’s sweet, everything feels right, but not even this innocent feeling can help us overcome the obstacles of our adulthood. And so, we part.

The Great is always a reminder of how powerful of a feeling love really is. Where The First is all about the highs, The Great has the lows, too. A sort of conflict is involved and this, along with the euphoric feeling of passionately loving and being passionately loved in return, contributes to its flair.. its drama. Overtime, the drama gets too much of the love that we decide to just let go. And so, we part.

The One That Got Way is always a reminder of how capable we are to love but equally incapable to fight for it and commit to it. If you look back, there really is nothing wrong about the relationship. At least, nothing wrong that we can’t really fix. But why did we let go? Why did we part? Because our internal conflict was too much at that time that it ate up whatever fight we have to continue loving. And so, we part.

But why then do we tend to look back at our could haves and would haves as if they’re the best chapters of our lives? So much so that we tend to miss enjoying our current chapter to the fullest. Or worse, tend to undermine it.

If you put our past romances in a microscope and just be totally objective about it, you’ll realize (and hopefully accept) the cracks and nuances of what you have put in a pedestal. The relationship was stuck on the honeymoon phase before it even really hits reality. Reality like waking up to their morning breaths, sleeping through their snores, navigating through your personal messes… and helping each other get out of them. Him fighting for you, and you fighting back for him; with the rest of the people who matter rooting for you two to win against the hurdles of life.

Everything happens for a reason, they say. And this is true about our past heartbreaks, too. There’s a perfectly reasonable explanation why we never ended up with The First, The Great, and The One That Got Away — they are not The Right for us.

The Right is that one love that could and should make you stop thinking of and pining on the other three.

I know that our past experiences, including relationships, should give us lessons in life to make us prepare for the future. But they shouldn’t be totally defining and dictating our present.

Who knows? Your current chapter could be very well your epilogue, too.


Think Before You Facebookspeak

Girls should stop whining about their relationships on social networking sites. Facebook will never help you solve your love problems. Mark Zuckerberg couldn’t even get his own love life act together.

Don’t get me wrong. I’ve been a victim of this, too. But it’s not a pleasant experience. You think that you’re right but there’s this nagging question at the back of your head if what you did was right. And isn’t it embarrassing for both you and your guy when you get back together? You start posting pictures of you again making funny faces or air smooching when days ago, you were calling him a cheat, a jerk, or an ass. Air smooching him would make you a what then? A kiss ass?

OK, lame word play.

But seriously, why don’t you just talk about it with him. Privately. Solve your problems together, not separately asking for public advises. You know what they say: “Be careful to whom you share your problems to. Most of them just want to meddle”.

If it’s really that bad, break up. Posting something about your boyfriend is just a reflection of you. Why stay with a douche in the first place? Don’t give me that but-it’s -true-love shit. I’m too old for that.

And so, my dear Padawan, that’s my 2 cents.

Get it.

It’s absolutely free.

P.S. The author wrote this piece after having a day full of Facebook relationship whine posts. It amused her at first, but then she read something about a guy that she cared about.  She wants everyone to know that those who are in the dating stage are exempted. In her opinion, they are just giving all the other single girls a benefit of not dating a jerk, a douche, or an ass.