The Gender Divide

It started with a post on the group chat regarding a petition. In a not so popular high school in a city I consider as my second home, a group of boys decided to disseminate compromising pictures of their ex-girlfriends. The victims’ side are claiming not to let them officially graduate. This has been going on for 2 or 3 years now thus, the petition. All of the involved are minors.

I don’t have the full picture and background so I feel it’s not my place to specifically discuss them here. I will, however, wanted to ask this: Who’s to blame?

Everyone agreed that it was wrong of them to publicize the pictures. But I was mildly surprised that the take on those girls who sent the pictures to their boyfriends in the first place were polarizing. Points like “how can these girls be so naive?”, “If there are no pictures, there will be nothing to send out for the whole world to see”, “why are we making such a big deal about this?”, and the clincher of it all: “If it’s the other way around , if this happened to the boys instead, will we still react the same and show the same fervent support?”

Which got me thinking: In this day and age, does everything still boils down to gender?

It’s baffling. When we have sexual issues such as this at hand, why do we always feel the need to present a counter-argument that divides us into two: Boys vs Girls.

Is it too difficult to just focus on what the actual issue is and just say that A is right and B is wrong? Why do we feel that by putting a gender label to it, the issue automatically feels complex?

Towards the end, we all agreed that:

(1) it was wrong to publicize the pictures and the boys should not earn the rights to officially graduate from the high school,

(2) while sharing compromising pictures to your partner is bordering on naivete, it’s normal and it’s your decision but you should be ready for any possible repurcussions,

(3) both victims and transgressors should be spared of public humiliation since they are all minors and they still deserve a future.

But the clincher is still a clincher.

Prayer on Repeat

Dear Lord, 

Thank You for making we wake up and get up. 

This has been my daily prayer for the past months. Simple and to the point. A daily reminder that I need to be deserving of every chance earned.

They say that every day is a new beginning. Having the chance to wake up and experience another day again is a gift because you get to be blessed or become a blessing. And if you’re really lucky, you get to be both.

Yes, you’ve earned it. But it doesn’t stop there.

Aside from waking up, you need to get up. For without the getting up, you’re just a lump on your bed, one with your sheets and pillows. For without the getting up, you rob yourself of making the most of the day.

A day that not everyone gets. A day that not every one has.

On Dates and Memories

As a kid, I felt the need to memorize my family’s birth dates because how could I not? They’re family. My father’s, my mother’s, my brother’s and later on, my kid sister’s.

As I grew a little older birthdate memorization extended to Lolos and Lolas, Titos and Titas, cousins, and close friends.

And much later on, the range extended not just on birthdates but on other life milestones, too — monthsaries, anniversaries, the day you first met, your pet’s birthday…

Dates are always associated with memories and with it comes the good and the bad. It can get too overwhelming, too, that sometimes, we feel the need to downplay it. Monthsary celebrations are limited to anniversaries, even your couple anniversary become overshadowed by your wedding anniversary, because one just can’t have that many of a celebration!

But my current question is this:

When it comes to babies and losses, which date do you keep?

The day you found out you were pregnant, the expected delivery date, or the day that you lost your baby?

Do you reminisce the happiness, be nostalgic at the feeling of anticipation, or commemorate the loss?

It’s a little tricky is it not? But amidst this confusion, I hope that I find clarity…