A Holy Place and a Case of Paranoia

“Are you really going to leave your bag?”, the husband asked right before we line up for the Holy Communion.

“Yes”, I answered hesitantly giving it one last look; making sure that it’s secured in the pew pocket where I stashed it.

It was just a short walk towards the lay minister. The whole ordeal did not even take 10 mins but all the while, there was a debate inside my head. The positive side is telling me to chill because it’s a holy place for fucksake. God is literally watching everyone, or so I’d like to think. If not God, at least Jesus who’s floating midair in the altar. So who in his right mind would dare commit blatant robbery inside a church, full with people at that? (Chuckling while typing this because we all know that church robbery is not very uncommon, both from actual criminals or criminals in holy clothing).

The negative side, however, is thinking about all the contents of my bag and how I can replace them if I get robbed. That hey, you’re in the Philippines, a third world country, where snatchers and budol budol* gang abound.

I reached our pew and immediately drew my eyes on where I put my purse. It’s still there. I knelt down and gave my purse a quick squeeze, making it appear like I’m just rearranging it. While making the sign of the cross for my post-communion prayers, I told myself never to leave my personal belongings unattended in the church again.

I need to have peace of mind while receiving the body of Christ.

Amen.

 

*“BUDOLBUDOL” is a coined Hiligaynon word that refers to the swindling hurly-burly of a gang. 

A Lesson on Honks

On our way to the dentist, a motorcycle from another lane suddenly made a sharp u-turn in a restricted area, cutting us off.

The husband did his favorite extended “honk“, his way of saying, “Dude! Not cool!”.

Not surprisingly, the motorcycle made an equally extended, if not longer, “honk“. It was probably his way of saying, “What now, arrogant person?”.

Curiously, I asked: “Does it work? Would he know he’s wrong?”

He answered, “At least you did something. Maybe he’ll think about it later and realize it.”

These are just a few things where our line of thinking differs. For me, someone who deliberately disregards rules would not shed a single minute of his day thinking about the wrong thing that he did. Chances are, he would celebrate how he evaded the traffic, with total disregard of the other drivers on the road. Worse, he’s probably laughing at the rule-abiding-goody-two-shoes who he thinks are just not “street smart” enough. So what’s the use?

But my husband thinks not the same. Where I am the “choose your battles” type of person, he’s the “fight the good fight” kind, you know? Sometimes, I notice that it’s slowly rubbing on me. It’s annoying but quite comforting, I would say.

 

Wakeup Call

Today marks the third day of me waking up early in the morning without the help of my alarm. The past two days, I just spent my extra waking hours just lounging on the bed and trying to get more sleep.

Today, I decided to just get up and hit the gym. It’s been a while since I exercised. And we all know that when you hit a rut on exercising, it’s really hard to bounce back.

While on the treadmill, I listened to a podcast channel that I used to listen to every single day. I remember it was one of the things that kept me motivated while I was training for my half-marathon, at work, and life in general.

And it made me realize one thing: I did not just hit an exercise rut. I hit a life rut.

Sure, things are busy at work, I haven’t had a crying spell for no particular reason in months, I’ve been going out with friends… But something’s amiss…

I don’t feel motivated. I’m doing things just because I have to do them, not because I want to do them.  I don’t have my happy hormones because I haven’t been working out.

The universe is not yet done. The podcast that I listened to today talked about The Time is Now, which hit me quite hard:

When are you going to change?

When are you going to stop making excuses?

When are you going to stop acting like it’s somebody else’s fault?

When will you finally start doing what it is that you want to do? Or stop doing the things that you don’t want to do anymore?

Benjamin Franklin said, “Most people die at 25, but they’re not buried until they’re 75.” In most ways, it’s true. We say adulting is really hard so we just let the life motions control us, instead of us taking charge.

Why don’t I reverse it? If I’m not going to do anything today, I’ll never gonna do it.

So I did. And I don’t plan to stop.

Again.