How do you keep up when you have a lingering heaviness in your heart? How do you stay afloat? How do you get past the feeling of (an impending) loss?
I’ve been asking myself these questions for the past days.. weeks.. You know that feeling between knowing and not knowing? That feeling of being trapped?
I’ve been in this limbo when I chanced upon an article about dealing with pain. It said that to cope with pain, you have to use your hands.
Your hands, not your mind.
For when you use your mind, you tend to exacerbate the pain; whereas by using your hands, you send care signs to the deepest part of you. Your hands are the antennae of your soul and by doing things, creating things… you light up your soul. For everything that is done by hand is said to be done by the heart, too.
Author John Greene wrote in one of his books: “Pain demands to be felt”. I still agree with it. But now, I also think that aside from feeling the pain, we can also opt to transform the pain into something else. Something that is of essence. Something that is, for the lack of a better word, beautiful.
I think this is the reason why I have this very strong urge to write something tonight… to channel my thoughts into words. To bare my soul out into the world even if it scares me.
Because I am in so much pain right now. I have been for the past nights, for the past weeks…
And it’s all because of…